Bullying - The definition

The University provides this quick definition of bullying.

Bullying can cover a wide range of behaviours and need not occur face to face. It may also occur in written communication, electronic mail and on the phone, some examples include:

non-constructive criticism which is personal rather than related to the person’s performance
public humiliation
unwanted physical contact
unwelcome remarks about a person's dress or appearance
use of offensive language or obscene gestures
gossip, or making defamatory comments
the display of obscene or otherwise offensive posters or graffiti
isolation or non-cooperation and exclusion from social activities
intrusion by pestering, spying and stalking
failure to safeguard confidential information
shouting at staff
setting impossible deadlines
persistent criticism
personal insults.

There is no doubt that I suffered these from my manager:

non-constructive criticism which is personal rather than related to the person’s performance
public humiliation
gossip, or making defamatory comments
persistent criticism
personal insults.

and these from my colleagues:

public humiliation
unwanted physical contact
unwelcome remarks about a person's dress or appearance
use of offensive language or obscene gestures
gossip, or making defamatory comments
shouting at staff
personal insults

However, I was also singled out for unfavourable treatment compared with that of my colleagues, while it was the common view that certain colleagues were given very favourable treatment. For example, I discovered that KM was leaving me out when distributing certain correspondence to the team. She completely ignored me at a meeting, and laughed at me in another meeting. She wouldn't allow me to attend conferences or training. She would listen to gossip, criticise me on that basis, but not explain what she was criticising me about. Whenever I proved that she had no reason to criticise me, it just made her more determined to find fault. She would be dishonest with me to try to cover up her bullying. The final straw was when she did this publicly and tried to humiliate me by making it appear as though it was me who was lying. Even though she had time to stop and think, the temptation to lie in order to cover up her bullying was too great. In situations where normal people would apologise, KM would become defensive and dishonest and dig a bigger hole for herself. I've often felt she has a mental illness, but experts on bullying say it's not an illness; it's pure badness. It is very difficult for bullies to stop bullying, and first of all they have to want to stop. KM isn't anywhere near that stage, and rewarding her with my dismissal will only encourage her to continue bullying. Experts say that it's as difficult for bullies to change their behaviour as it is for paedophiles. I was not KM's first target. A former colleague was ill treated by her too.

The following catch all statement from the Harassment Policy was used by ES to uphold my manager's grievance against me. For some reason which was never explained to me, even this was insufficient to uphold my own genuine grievance of long term bullying which had caused me sufficient stress to require five weeks sick leave.

Differences of attitude or culture and the misinterpretation of social signals can mean that what is perceived as harassment by one person may not seem so to another. The defining feature, however, is that the behaviour is offensive or intimidating to the recipient or a witness. It is not the intention of the perpetrator that is key in deciding if harassment or bullying has occurred, but whether the behaviour is unacceptable by reasonable normal standards and is unwelcome to the person or people subjected to it or witnessing it.

Bully Online is an excellent site that covers workplace bullying and provides an insight into the bully's motives.